Page Title

When I went out into the world at the age of 19, I had many wrong ideas about life. My
ignorance caused many, many problems in my early adulthood.

At first, I did pretty well for what I wanted. My first apartment was $150/month, all bills
paid, and I lived simply. I had left the nest in my ‘79 Chevette (a graduation gift from my
uncle), which contained everything I owned. I mowed lawns for a living, and then did
construction labor.

I saved almost no money, but I didn’t have or need much. I had a lot of free time, which
I used mostly to read books and write. My short-term goal was to spend a year
hitchhiking across the country.

A year later, I was working 3rd shift in a slaughterhouse to try to make ends meet. I lived
with my pregnant girlfriend and we weren’t very good partners. I was about to make
some very poor decisions that would result in friendships ending, financial disaster, and
years of domestic strife. I was angry and frustrated a lot of the time, too.

For the next nine years, I hardly wrote at all except for college papers and Bible study.
Still, even though I was loaded down with a lot of problems, I managed to work most of
the time, get a college education, spend nine years married, build a good relationship with
my kids, and move my family from Kansas to Florida (where we knew no one).

Within two years of the move, in April of 2003, my then-wife and I split up. The pain of
marital separation and my ex’s quick rebound to a new relationship caused me to put pen
to paper again. I never looked back to my previous life of non-writing.

What came out of me during the next four years astounded me. It was as if I had
removed a psychic cork that had been holding in all my creative expression for the last
decade. I had already been on the path to awakening and I had been reading much
spiritual material, from too many authors to list here . I also sought guidance from Deity,
which has always lent me Its guiding light—whether I chose to see by it or not.

I didn’t just sit down and write for four years, though. Instead, I undertook a journey of
self-development that included many new people, a hitchhiking trip, a military enlistment,
homelessness, buying a business, forming an incredible new relationship, and many stages
of awakening that culminated in my spiritual rebirth.

This book contains many of my writings about spirituality, religion, relationships, Love,
God, and related subjects. My personal view is that romantic love and spirituality go
hand-in-hand, no matter what the self-proclaimed gurus on the mountaintops say. I know
because I’ve walked those roads and climbed those peaks. A truly loving relationship is
a powerful force against negativity.

I’ve divided the writings into six parts, according to 1) the dominant flow of events in my
life and 2) the nature of the writings from a given time period. Nearly all of them are in
chronological order, but I have shuffled a few around so they fit better with a particular
topic or stage of spiritual development, while still retaining their relevance to the whole.

The Introduction covers the period from May to December of 2003. Near the end of
April 2003, just before I began writing again, my then-wife and I decided to split up. By
June, I had my first awakening experience and began to move on. By year’s end, I had
started dating again and had met some really interesting people. At the end of December,
I had another awakening experience that resulted in a short self-help volume that I called
Be Happier Now! Steps on the Path to a Better Life. It is now Part One of this book,
with a shortened title.

In February of 2004, I took a three-day hitchhiking trip from my front door to the
Daytona 500 and back. I’ve included the resulting trip report in Appendix B.

Part Two covers the period from March of 2004 to March of 2006. I continued to meet
new people and develop myself until I started dating my life partner, Joy, in June of
2004. I had already decided to join the military for personal growth reasons, so I was
away training for more than two of our first four months together. When I came back, I
was broke, jobless, behind on child support, and homeless—but not Joyless. (I just
couldn't help it.) And I still had my Dodge Dakota pickup truck with a full-sized topper. I
spent my nights in it for about four months while working as a construction
superintendent, before getting back on my feet.

In June of 2005, I bought a canoe and kayak rental business. After this, life got pretty
sweet. I had more time to contemplate and write, and I was near my loved ones. I
enjoyed my work. I was growing like crazy when, in March of 2006, a voice from my
earlier life emerged and brought me screeching to a halt. The issue was God, the Bible,
and Jesus. And the devil, and Hell, and Heaven. And I was greatly troubled.

I’ve always wanted to be right. That doesn’t mean that I’ll try to browbeat you into
submission until you accept my point of view. It means that, whatever my point of view
is, I strive to be sure that it’s the correct one. I’ll change in a heartbeat as soon as I
discover error in myself.

What followed this challenge was a total re-examination of all my points of view. This
resulted in a large amount of material that deals with the life of the Spirit as distinguished
of the life of rules or religion. These topics are examined and resolved in Part Three and
Part Four, which contain material written between March and October of 2006.

I came back with a newly energized and confident view of myself and the Universe after
this period of reflection. In October of 2006, I had an experience that has been called
“ego death.” Part Five begins here. Then, in January of 2007, on the seventh
anniversary of my mom’s death from cancer, I quit tobacco. That’s when it all came to a
head. That’s when I graduated. That’s when I awakened.

It occurs to me that someone might wonder what it’s like to be “awake.” It’s not easy to
put into words. I recently described it like this: “It feels like you’re standing on a
mountaintop with your arms out and a breeze blowing through your hair—except that
there’s really no mountaintop and no breeze.”

When you’re awake, you’re free. The whole Universe is your home and your friend.
You’re never alone. You feel gratitude for the honor of being conscious of your position
in this place. You savor this life and use it to learn and grow. You help others.

I hope you enjoy learning and watching me grow in these pages. I also hope that my
learning and growth produces more of the same in you, and in others whose lives we
touch. After all, that’s why we’re here!

Oh, and please don’t mind the expletory language that comes up every now and then. I
endeavor to be honest, so I included much of it here as originally written. If it bothers
you, I recommend that you get over it. To grow to your fullest potential, you can’t get
hung up on propriety or other people’s standards. You just grit your teeth and do it.

Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park
Live Oak, Florida
March 29, 2007